With all of us being in isolation, it can be easy to become overwhelmed. So many new changes are going on and they are happening so quickly, it may behoove us to slow down and take inventory of a few things.
Recently I shared 4 tips on how to combat overwhelm while we learn how to navigate all the changes that are going on in the world right now.
1 – Release your baggage (This can be done in a number of ways)
2 – Create a compelling future (This is done by setting SMART goals, and that’s what this blog post is primarily going to focus on)
3 – Take action (It’s just as easy to take action as it is to not)
4 – Maintain focusing on what you want (as opposed to what you don’t want)
Releasing baggage is the first thing I do with my clients so we have a clean slate upon which to work.
I do this by using a mix of NLP, Mental and Emotional Release ®, Shadow and energy work to blast the repressed negative emotions and limiting beliefs that keep them stuck running through molasses (true statement from one of my clients).
Once the canvas is clean, it’s time to start creating.
One way to ensure you will achieve your goals is to use the power of your unconscious mind. So let’s grab the paints or crayons and help that creative little 5-year-old get us where we want to go.
When creating your future, it’s important to give your unconscious mind something to go after. Like a child wants to appease a parent, your unconscious mind wants to help you get what you want. So here’s a powerful way to get what you want.
Start by setting a SMART goal. A SMART goal looks like this:
S – Specific and simple
When setting a goal, be as specific as you possibly can while also keeping things simple. Some of us can get lost in the weeds of specificity so be careful that you don’t go down a rabbit hole so far that you start to feel overwhelmed.
The point is to have enough specific details that you’re painting a clear picture for your unconscious mind to know what to look for, and maintain some flexibility in how everything shows up. You want to avoid including so many details that you miss an ample opportunity to change directions if you need to.
M – Measurable and Meaningful To You
Set a goal that can be tracked. Because if you aren’t able to measure your progress, you won’t know how close you are to achieving things. Keep a journal or a spreadsheet to help you visualize where you’re at. This should also be something that someone else can measure and hold you accountable for.
Make sure the goal you’re setting is meaningful to you. If you don’t find value in something, is it really worth anything at all? It’s great to want to do things for others, and if a goal is something someone else wants you’re less likely to maintain your focus and take action on a consistent basis.
A – Achievable, All areas of life, As if now
You know something is achievable if you have done it before or if someone else has done it before. And if you’re not sure, I bet you’ll find something on YouTube. By doing a little bit of research, you’ll either give yourself the inspiration and motivation you need to achieve your goal or you’ll find something you may not have thought about that can help you achieve your goal. Either way, you’ll learn something.
When creating a goal make sure you’re not sabotaging yourself. If you have a goal to lose weight and your partner or family could care less, you’re going to be challenged in staying motivated. If you want to save money for a rainy day but your spouse spends money like crazy, you’re going to be challenged.
Does your family support you and your goal? Does your career offer the flexibility you need to achieve your goal? Do your spiritual practices help you achieve your goal? Make sure that all areas of life support your goal. If they don’t, adjust your goal.
Your unconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between reality and fantasy so why not write your goal as if it’s happening now? This is a huge factor in being able to create and manifest what you want. If you create your goal as if you’re living it now, you will start to attract the things that make your goal easier to achieve. You move closer and closer to the real-i-zation of your goal.
R – Realistic and Responsible/Ecological
To me, being realistic is a must. Also, I don’t hold the same definition as some for what realistic actually is. I hold the belief that anything is possible and that there are many solutions to a single problem. That being said, if I set the goal to earn $100,000 in one month with what I do as a coach, that doesn’t align with my value of integrity so it’s not realistic for me. Is it still possible? Sure. But I’m not going to go against my values to make it so.
Being responsible with our goals helps us stay connected on a deeper level. If my goal isn’t good for the community I live in, or my virtual community, I may want to rethink my goal. This is what being ecological means. We’re all connected so if I hurt my community, I also hurt myself.
If my goal is to lose weight that’s great and going to the gym to help me achieve that goal may not be ecological at this time (sans the fact that the gyms are closed, and you get my point). ‘Do no harm’ is what I think about when I think about making my goals responsible and ecological.
T – Time-based and Toward What You Want
Our unconscious mind organizes our memories based on a timeline. That’s one reason Mental and Emotional Release ® therapy is so powerful. When our goals are based on time we can put them into our timeline in the future which energetically pulls us in that direction. And since the unconscious mind is already organized in that fashion, it gives our unconscious mind something to go after. The unconscious mind is the goal-getter while the conscious mind is the goal-setter. So set a time in which you will achieve your goal.
Another important part of goal setting and being able to stay focused on achieving the goal is having motivation. Motivation is much stronger when we move towards the things we want in life.
Think about it for a minute. You want to lose weight because you think you’re fat, and you don’t want to be fat anymore.🙋
You start your weight loss journey and you get to the point where you’ve lost a significant amount of weight. Then you tell yourself you deserve a “treat” for all the hard work you’ve put in. Then you tell yourself you deserve a “treat” for coming so far. Then you tell yourself one “treat” isn’t going to hurt. Before you know it, you’ve had so many “treats” that you’re back where you started.
You had moved far enough away from what you didn’t want that you lost your motivation to keep going. This is a great example of how important it is to know what you want too.
As we embark on a new way of life in this crazy world, setting goals will help us create the world we want to live in. When we create the world we want to live in, we tend to be a lot happier and able to experience joy and fulfillment.
We’re being presented with so many opportunities right now. Let’s take this time to be SMART so the uncertain times become more manageable and you move powerfully forward along the path.
I’m sure you’ve heard that forgiveness is one of the key factors in us being able to create the life we dream of living.
It’s also key to us creating our reality because when we forgive we release the emotional baggage that can accumulate from the experiences we have.
The Hawaiin culture has forgiveness as one of its main pillars. They know that on an energetic level we are all one and if we don’t forgive those who we perceive as wrong, whether they direct that wrong at us or not, we stay stuck in a life where joy is elusive.
Ho’oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian forgiveness process that cuts the connection between you and what’s happened. It helps cleanse the energy and brings alignment and congruency.
I’ve studied ho’oponopono under the guidance of Dr. Matt James for a couple of years now. I listen to a 7-minute guided meditation every night before bed, and it has changed my life. I’m more calm, centered, and balanced, something this single-mom needs daily so I can keep this machine well-oiled.
It’s been so powerful for me that I’ve included it in the nightly routine I have with my boys. We give Nana and Papa hugs and kisses goodnight, brush our teeth, read stories, do ho’oponopono and a sleep meditation. They’re out like a light! They love it so much they continue listening to the track even when I travel away from home.
This technique is so powerful I take all my clients through an extended version, training I received while studying Huna on the Big Island of Hawaii. They have reported feeling lighter and more peaceful.
The process begins by connecting to your breath. Breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth making the Ha sound. Do this for a few breaths or a few minutes, whatever works best for you to connect.
You’ll then use your imagination to make a stage, below you and in front of you. When the stage is complete, allow love healing energy to flow into your body through the top of your head, filling your body and allowing the energy to overflow out the top then covering your body on the outside, healing from bottom to top, inside and out. All this energy to flow throughout the entire process.
For the version I do each night, I ask my Unconscious Mind to bring out everyone I’ve come into contact with that day on the Spiritual, Mental, Emotional, and Physical levels. I then open my heart and allow the love healing energy to flow from me down to the stage and fill everyone up, healing them from bottom to top, inside and out.
I then say to them, “I forgive you, please forgive me too.” and I allow the energy of love and forgiveness to flow easily and effortlessly. Allow this exchange to occur for a few minutes. You can take this opportunity to say anything you like to anyone on the stage. This allows you to get out anything you may be holding onto.
When you feel complete, you’ll gather all the energy connections between them and you (imagine cords of energy) and allow a blade of bright white healing light come down from Source and cut the connections. This allows you to break the ties that may have been holding you down or holding you to them. Don’t worry, if you want to keep the connection between you and the other person (say your kids) you simply think of them again in a positive light and the connection is re-established.
You’ll finish the process by doing more Ha breathing and coming back into the room in which you sit.
Sometimes we may not want to forgive someone. The thing I realized about forgiveness is that when we forgive someone it doesn’t mean I condoned what they did, it simply means I’m letting go of the energy I was holding onto, and when I let that energy go, I am free to allow more powerful energy in, energy I can use to create a joyful and Fiercely Fresh Life.
This is just a quick version of ho’oponopono, and there are things to be explained in a conversation, too long for a blog post. When you’re ready, connect with me and I’ll take you through the process, explain a few things in more detail and help you cleanse the energy so you can move forward.
Until then, sending lots of love and healing vibes.
Have you ever stopped to look around and realized that you were feeling totally joyful and grateful in that moment? If not or if it’s been a while, it may take shifting perspective.
I used to have a really hard time finding joy or gratitude. I was Negative Nelly incarnate, the keyword here being “was.”.
So there I was, riding the lift up the mountain in a seat all to myself. My boys wanted to ride with their friends, so I got a few moments of peace and quiet before meeting them all at the top.
As I was enjoying the peace and quiet, looking around at the beautiful blue sky, the lush green trees, and the white glistening snow, I looked up to the top of the mountain and realized that I was feeling so content and joyful. I was grateful for that moment.
And then a thought popped into my mind as I noticed the patchiness of the snow in certain areas. Thankfully this time the thought that popped in was positive and empowering.
I saw smooth parts, rough parts, parts less traveled, and parts heavily traveled.
It reminded me of…life itself.
I began running a movie in my mind of some of the things I had experienced in life (I’m not the only one who does this, right?). I remembered some pretty amazing experiences and some not-so-amazing experiences. I remembered some fun times and some not-so-fun times.
What I began to realize is that this mountain that I was staring at was a perfect metaphor for what my life was all about up to this point, and would continue to be.
I then realized that even with all the undulations and inconsistencies in terrain, the mountain still stood tall and strong, unshaken. So did I.
Because shifting perspective moves figurative mountains—of negativity, fear, doubt, anxiety, and depression.
I stood tall, strong, confidently badass. I haven’t always been this way. It’s taken shifting perspective and some serious work on my part, and it’s been worth all the effort because I found a moment of joy that at one point would have passed me by. This time I reached out, grabbed it, and claimed it for my own.
I’ve been doing that more often, and ya know what? It’s a pretty cool skill.
Have you ever wondered why balancing life is so hard? There’s balancing work and play, balancing being a parent and fulfilling your professional dreams, balancing a checkbook (adulting…gasp!).
All this balancing can be a real challenge. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with a little hard work, the constant struggle is real for most of us. At the end of the day many of us collapse in bed, hoping to shut our brains down long enough to recharge our bodies, just so we can get up and do it all again the next day.
I got caught up in the rat race so much that I eventually developed breast cancer. I took that as a sign that I needed to slow down and reset some priorities. Like so many, my cancer diagnosis was the wake up call I needed to slow down and pull my head out of my ass.
I thought I was doing well enough to get by. I had no idea the complexities of what it means to be a conscious human. Then one day I was introduced to the idea of the mind/body connection.
The part that hit me square in the chest was the idea that there are four bodies.
Of course there’s the physical body-that we all know because well, we’re here and someday when we die, our physical body goes away. Many believe we have a soul, or spiritual body-that part of us that goes to heaven or hell (or to the next life). Another body-the mental body, has gained some recognition through the idea of mental health and it’s really only looked at when something goes “wrong”. The last body-the emotional body, in my opinion isn’t explored nearly enough. In my experience it’s this body that has the most effect on the mind/body connection.
The cancerous lump I found in my breast was directly over my heart, the thing I was most disconnected from. Before I was diagnosed I had been battling depression and anxiety for many years. I also had lower back problems that sometimes kept me from doing the things I loved doing. According to Dr. John E. Sarno in his book “Healing Back Pain-The mind/body connection” the most common cause of back pain is Tension Myositis Syndrome which is linked to anger and anxiety. I was finally putting the pieces of the puzzle together.
Through my research I have found that all these connections could be made by looking at how well my four bodies were being cared for. If you think of each of the bodies I described as legs of a chair it’s easy to see how one “broken” leg can make the whole chair unstable. When another leg “breaks” the stability is decreased even more. If three legs are broken that destroys the chair and it’s no longer usable. For me three of my legs were broken and cancer was about to take out the last.
I couldn’t let that happen. I had two little boys to raise as a single mom. My husband passed away six weeks after I was diagnosed so I couldn’t let my kids go without both parents. Now it was time to pull up my boot straps and start implementing some of the things I had learned from my research (which is always ongoing and part of the process).
Fixing the broken legs of my chair has been easy when I keep it simple by looking at the four bodies. I have found that when I pay attention to each leg every day I find harmony in my life that takes very little effort, as opposed to the constant balancing act I was trying to perform before my life turned upside down.
When you give just a little bit of love to each of the four bodies, they give you tons of love back. So here is how you do that:
Leg #1: Your Spiritual Body
No matter what religion you practice there are ways to feed your spirit. Whatever that looks like for you, give yourself 15-30 minutes a day to focus solely on this body. Some days it may be sitting in meditation, other days it may be going for a walk. Whatever it looks like for you keep your spiritual body in mind as you perform whatever task you’re doing.
Leg #2: Your Mental Body
Our mental state can be improved simply by learning something new. Rather than coming home from a hard days work, where you may have lost the capacity for mental acuity, take 5 minutes to sit quietly and concentrate on your breathing. This will help perk you up so you can take 30 minutes to read a book or some other form of literature to get your mental juices flowing. Things that are learned over time, say 30 minutes a day, have been found to stick with us a little more than cramming it all in at once.
Leg #3: Your Emotional Body
Getting in touch with your emotions and allowing them to have a voice can help you become more emotionally intelligent. Feel whatever you’re feeling in any given moment. You don’t have to act on that feeling unless you choose to. I like to use the S.T.O.M.P. method when I’m starting to feel upset, flustered or overwhelmed. Yes, there are negative emotions, and it’s the negative emotions that then to lead us to make disempowering choices. The S.T.O.M.P. method is really easy. S-stop what you’re doing, T-take a few deep breaths, O-observe your body, your thoughts, your emotions, M-make a mental picture of how you want to be, P-proceed consciously. If proceeding consciously means you go beat up on some pillows for five minutes then go do it. The emotion obviously needs to be released.
Leg #4: Your Physical Body
This one we all know how to care for, we just don’t always make the healthiest choices. Eating clean and healthy, little to no packaged foods and moving your body, whatever that looks like for you, are the easiest ways to care for our physical bodies. Things like rest are important too. I like to take a nice hot bath with epsom sale, essential oils and crystals once a week to show all my bodies some love.
When you make the legs of your chair stable you can count on that chair to be there every time you sit down. It doesn’t have to be a big production to put some little things into practice. Jeff Olson explains it well in his book “The Slight Edge” when he says that little practices over time yield the biggest results.
It’s all about the baby steps.
Ready to mend the legs of your Life Chair? Click the button below to contact me for more information.
Cultivating a growth mindset vs fixed mindset can make a world of difference in your life. So if you find yourself stuck in negative thinking, the good news is you can change.
What’s the old saying about guarantees? There are only 2 things in life that are guaranteed-death and taxes? There is one more…change. Nothing stays the same forever, not even the stars in the sky.
One of the most powerful ways to create change is to shift one’s perspective. This is true when it comes to establishing a growth mindset vs fixed mindset. When you go from a fixed negative mindset to one of growth and expansion, you create possibilities in your life. You open doors and windows that were once closed. You get to dust off the cobwebs and set the wheels of creation into motion.
Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset Explained
Someone with a fixed mindset will avoid challenges, they stay in their comfort zone. They typically give up easily, allowing others to overstep boundaries, then become resentful. They either ignore feedback or take it as a personal attack. They become threatened by other people’s success, or even jealous of it. They try too hard and end up overcompensating for their insecurities, only to have things blow up in their face like when a beach ball pops up out of the water.
Someone with a growth mindset embraces challenges, they run towards them because they know they will become stronger in the process. They give their best effort, always, and they learn from feedback because they don’t see it as them failing at something or being attacked; they see it as an opportunity for learning. They are inspired by other people’s success and they model that success. If they don’t know something, they figure out how to gain the knowledge to get the job done.
The big question is, how does one develop a growth mindset vs fixed mindset? There are a few things I share with my family, friends, and clients that I’ve learned along the way. These tips have helped me come out of the depths of depression and anxiety so I can step into a place of learning and growth, a place where I have more emotional intelligence. This place is where I learn from my emotions instead of allowing my emotions to get the best of me.
There’s even an easy way to remember these tips…R.A.C.E.
A simple and effective way to start looking at things differently is to notice the positive things that happen throughout your day. Right before bed take a few minutes to do a “recap” of your day. Play a movie in your mind from the moment you wake up until the moment you begin the exercise. Notice all the positive things that occurred-the yummy smell of your coffee as you get ready for work, the smile on a stranger’s face, the ease of your commute. Consciously look for the positive.
2. Acknowledge and celebrate
Anytime something positive happens, stop and acknowledge it. Celebrate it. Do the same thing with not-so-positive things. If something happens that throws you off, find the positive in it. This world is full of duality so if there’s something you perceive as negative, start turning things around and find the other side of the spectrum.
3. Change your dialogue
There’s a saying in the Hawaiian culture that when translated says, “In the word there is life, and in the word there is death.” The words we use have energy and vibration that help us create our reality. If you are seeing nothing but negativity, try speaking in a more positive way and see what happens.
4. Encourage failure
There really is no such thing as failure if you really think about it. When you take what happens as feedback, you can course-correct so the perceived “failure” becomes a great learning so you can grow.
Now that you know how to change from a fixed mindset to one where you’ll learn and grow, you’ll be able to create the life you’ve always wanted. Cultivating a growth mindset vs fixed mindset makes all the difference. You’ll create a life abundantly filled with joy and purpose, whatever those look like for you.